Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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