Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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