Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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