Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Pooping to opera.
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