i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
