well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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