and next time when you feel me up, do it right
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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