you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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