I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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