my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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