Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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