I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
