She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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