CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
