So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Someone signed my nipple.
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