I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
