that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
