ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
