I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
