Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
