no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
