He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize