She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
