your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Randomize