He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
