You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sobbing to NWA
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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