i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
