And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
