I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
