no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
