i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
