Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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