you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
