the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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