Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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