this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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