Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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