If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
