tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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