Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
