Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize