There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
