roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
