3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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