Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
