Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
