Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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