I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
