Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
