I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
