The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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