this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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