Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think a kid would responsible me up
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
