I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
