dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
