I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Randomize
