I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize