Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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