So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
